From being somebody to nobody...

Indian marriage is once in a lifetime show. They are larger than life...a lot of planning is done for years together to make it large and a big fat event. Parents put in a lot of money to make it a memorable day for their children. Arranged marriages are still common in India, though bride and the groom do get a chance to meet a few times before marriages. Love marriages are not uncommon, but they constitute a smaller percentage. What happens when a bride enters her home? In most of the cases, there is a huge identity crisis. It is a journey from being a somebody to a nobody. A girl, who is the apple of the eyes, in her family is suddenly asked to live among strangers, who look at her with a critical eye. What’s she wearing, what’s she doing, how is she sitting, how is she laughing, why is she laughing, why is she sitting,…the list of why’s, how’s and what’s is long. She is being judged for everything. Her normal routine is also under supervision. All of a sudden she becomes the wife and daughter-in-law, ready to take over the household responsibilities. Not many families are kind enough to the newly-weds. It is difficult for them to adjust to a new being in the house. But, little do they understand that for a bride, everything is new…from the house to the people around. She has little or no information about the new family’s day-to-day activities, culture, philosophy and thinking. It takes times to imbibe and accept the change. If there is a friction between the girl and any other member of the family, the girl is always criticised and she is said to be the one who cannot gel with people. Can one person be wrong all the time? It is the responsibility of the parents to understand and make peace. They should try to bridge the gap rather than drifting family members apart. Most Indian women try their best to gel in the new surroundings and be happy. For some, it works wonderfully while a few have to fight for their space for years together. Then dawn the new beginning – from being nobody to somebody! Yes, life experiences teach us to be stronger and we want us to be recognised to be who we are and not what others want us to be. If others can't accept, it is their choice. Else, be happy with what you are and not what others want you to be. #indianmarraiges #mindfulliving

You are what you are...

You are what you are and not what others think of you. Then, why do we feel lost and hurt when someone believes you are wrong and you have no words to prove yourself. Can one mistake, intentional or unintentional, define your character? How many years will you be admonished for something you are not responsible for? Life is to live...forget about what others think. If you believe in yourself, nothing and no one can take away your self-respect. There is nothing more important than your opinion about yourself. The day you lose your self-respect is the day you lose yourself. Dont let that happen to you.

Why oh why?

How much are we responsible for what others feel or do? Why is a female always told that she can be substituted with maids? Can a wife, a mother, a daughter-in-law substituted with a maid? While, a daughter, a sister or a female friend can't. Why can't men understand that if a female is doing house work, even then she cant be substituted with a maid. Dont know when this patriarchial mindset will change!